he stomach grew largly. Especially if times are tough at work, or youre coping with some serious family drama, leaning too heavily on your partner can sometimes happen without even realizing it. It hurts so bad. Thanks. It I sure hope to be a friend. We were together 9 1/2 months and then broke up because he thought too many people were interfering with our relationship. We clicked immediately which I felt made him feel comfortable enough to share things that perhaps a newly dating man wouldnt. He came home that night and texted me distraught about the whole thing and apparently he dreamt about her because he felt it was his fault and also began stressing about her wayyyy more than hes ever stressed about me. A week ago he finally heard back from her from the night of the play (meaning hes been trying to get in constant touch with her) and she said she was fine and not to worry, shell her phone back before school (she did this through a friends phone , why would your friend feel such a need to text you through another friend over something like that? Monday he worked 8-8 which he continued to do everyday this week. What are you in the mood for? I am going through a very hard time right now. Through this article, now I realise I shouldnt have done that. I now know what to do. Now, I know this is the reason why men pull away that you don't want to consider, but if it's the one that's ringing true for your situation, it's better that you know now so you can move on with your life. This is the longest I havent heard from him, nearly 5days. I wish I had that kind of sex with this guy. Love is never easy and for me it never has been and never will be but that just makes me want to try harder :). (Which I found very suspicious but I did not tell him). Im simply loving, the way I always am with him, and when he does open up I sit quietly and listen. After this we went back to getting along very well, laughing together and so on, and then we went to a bookstore for a date, and had a great time. Misses his old one. Joking around, smiling, etc but he doesnt do that very much anymore either. sorry for the novel ;) seems like you get that a lot^. He said he is only willing to give it a shot is because we live together but if I ever snoop on him again its over, hes gone. You can do literally anything you set your mind to, and this is no different. There is someone out there that will want to be with you and not treat you like this. What does this mean and does he mean what he says? In fact, most people report the negative aspects of their days to partners in an effort to work them through, unburden themselves or to let off steam.. One of my female friends said to him, OK after all these girls, havent you learned to do ANYTHING differently? What I am doing is simply stop texting and let him take the control. It began in January, he got sick with pneumonia and due to the severity of it, he was placed on medical leave until everything was back to normal. On another note, Eric, there needs to be more articles that tell men how to treat women, what THEY can do to help the relationship, etc. He is worried if gets married, he wouldnt be able to make me happy or provide a life for our children. Plain and simple. . After all, relationships are a two-way street, and if you notice your partner seems distant or you're noticing that they are putting in less effort than you are, there's no harm in addressing the situation directly to find out what's really going on. Now, trust, this happens to everyone, but its really important to look out for signs your partner is feeling emotionally drained by your needs. I welcome the male perspective. So get out now. I wanted to know please if anyone has a suggestion? Parents nagging on him. I also find that he is very responsive to praise in these times and that reminding him of his better qualities and how well he has handled difficult situations in the past is helpful to him. We could both use some fresh air. Also, her brother has it too! They are not always capable of expressing themselves the way us women do. I was so wrapped up in the excitement of meeting him, I didnt ask questions and perhaps didnt take it all that seriously, or just didnt want to hear it. I feel terrible, he is so angry. Hang on and be strong :). So he immediately messaged me on the dating site and after a couple of messages we exchanged numbers. He hasnt changed his relationship status with me and hasnt removed any tagged posts from his trip here. I kept trying to reach out to him but it made him withdraw more. He then came into work and talked to the girl who had given him my number before and told her how he felt like an idiot and really wanted to ask me out. I'm just feeling overwhelmed" When your partner stonewalls When you feel like someone shuts you out, it can hurt. We lived together for 4 years and bought a house together 21 years ago so it was pretty serious. He would get up set when i would try to offer help, or tell him i was praying for him, or wished him luck or tried to help him solve his problems.. and he would also tell me hes not the guy for me.. and to go on and enjoy my life .. without him.. cause he said hes hurting inside.. and I would tell him, let me decide if hes for me or not.. He had been really stressed because hes currently unemployed, hes having family issues, etc. So this is what I am dealing with & I will probably be spending more weekends out of town with my folks. I thought it was really considerate of him to call and tell me that. He can easily go 4 days without texting or calling me, not even answering my efforts to contact him. Im in a lot of distress about it going over the details of what I might have done wrong. And if your partner uses any of these seven words or phrases, it could mean they have one foot out the door. What can I do? He said he would love to see me in the future but that right now he needed time alone. There are other cases where a relationship just wont work for someone and its better to move on to a better fit (and it sounds like this might be your case). I kept making excuses for him and blaming myself for maybe coming on too strong.or not really listening to his signals he was clearly trying to warn me about. All and all it feels like a great relationship. He was nice, caring and he even cooked for me. From this point forward, you know something that will get you better results than ever before. Expanding one's support system to include other relationships can help people process emotions through different lenses and receive diverse input and guidance.. My boyfriend is really stressed out and he is pulling away from me. He was taken aback and almost looked in shock. Although initially I poked him, trying to solve his problems and offered help. and mad. /japanese/ lol, PS. Go off, take care of you. i dont think it is since im asian. I trust my bf that hes telling me the truth that he really is over her but i get the feeling that shes not over him. Something to let me know it is not me or that our relationship is in danger. But it may . Im not doing anything to him? What I did was still text him once in two weeks. In that regard, all Im saying is she doesnt need to do anything just step back and let him handle it. Ever since the fight about his best friend he has not done nearly half the things he use to do such as send me loving goodnight and Goodmorning messages, nor does he seems as affectionate as he once was when we would meet up in personwhat did I do? Because once he gets through things, he would be so happy that a wonderful person has been supporting him all along. He is a truck driver and has told me that he has been stressing about working and living arrangements. Finally some common sense in the comment section! This really helped me understand him better. jenny decided not to fight and said ok. during this time jenny had a health problem. He has not called me since that day however every three or four days will send me a text message. the other day she saw him coming out of class with a lady. He did admit hes a person who when he gets in his bad place does not want to see anyone or do anything. she got jeaoluse. After You have the baby and you are stressed, breast feeding, etc. At first I found our differing approaches very frustrating and would push for him to open up to me, much to the detriment of us both! I then found out he did nothing but lie about the whole time before his death. You know what you want, you have a good understanding of where hes at right now and even though its disappointing and not ideal, you arent emotionally overwhelmed by it. And its most definitely not because I expect her to be a nurturing angel. Part of me is hurt by that and honestly, I was raised to believe that relationships arent supposed to work like that. i want to get in relationship with him but im afraid he is not willing to do that anymore. I have never had this experience before and have to say it has been quite the education. I'm so proud of how youve been balancing everything lately under so much pressure. Im pretty much with Amy, May 14 2013 on this one, especially if this is a repeated behavior. Wow!! Actually, I already know the answer. Ive been seeing this guy for about 2 yrs. I cant tell him not to see her and if i insist on going with him would that make me seem like an overprotective gf? Ive ranted and pleaded and cried. When your SO is stressed, whats your signature move? I wish I saw this a few weeks ago! There are many cases where a person might be looking for a relationship to fulfill them or make them happy when in fact they should be looking within themselves and their own life for that happiness and fulfillment. If your partner is no longer willing to put in the effort to resolve a conflict and meet your emotional needs, the relationship may be at risk of crumbling apart. Neither of us were drunk. He says he wasnt thinking about her before but because I kept pushing and pushing I have made him think about her a lot more. I sent one text on friday morning. very few things on internet make such impression on my mind. Taking a break from this relationship was his idea, so it's up to him to get back in touch with you if he wants to talk. I read similar advice before (and double-checking because I dont want to mess it up!). !!!! This may be a red flag in itself. He is my best friend and someone that I share my bad days and good days with. - Of course I thought I did something wrong but after talking about it, he admitted his whole life just feels out of control so he cant put any more effort into us until he gets life together again. We spent the whole I know these things wont work for every guy as all are different, and even for those it would it wont work every time, but I would urge all women struggling to cummunicate with their guy in a difficult time to reflect on the way he prefers to cummunicate, and try to mirror his language and approach. it was his first gf. Ask him what you can do. . When a guy shares something with you, his main desire is for you to understand him and his experience. i tried to tell him it wasnt me, i tried giving him space. I miss him. Sometimes other peoples stories affects our judgements. Its not that I cant (or dont) communicate. He never responded to that and has given me no time frame or assurance again. Lately he is unhappy with his new job. It's one of the signs that a guy is hiding his true feelings for you. Ever since then he has fought with me about her and refuses to talk about her when he brings up a story of him and her doing something that makes me feel uncomfortable. he said that he would try again but now amonth has passed and he hasnt asked her yet. I have been mindful to use this approach with my boyfriend recently while he has been facing redundancy and have found him to be very open with me and that this has deepened our bond. You need to be okay with giving him a little space when hes stressed (within reason).